Warrior Documents Long Complex Journey With Lyme Disease Journal Entry One

Messy Desk

Desk on Lyme

Desk before Lyme

Desk before Lyme

Med/Sup/Shot Schedule

Med/Sup/Shot Schedule

Holter Device

Holter Device

Scheduling probiotics, medicine and supplements is a challenge. With probiotics you have to wait before eating or taking meds, then juggle of what goes on empty stomach, which with food. Can’t forget the shot to stomach three days a week. Adjusting the new meds has not been fun, I’m stoned out of my mind the bulk of day, then massive headache moves in, then time to get stoned again before bed with the headache. My gripe, it’s not a good stoned, its brain fog with the floor moving under your feet. David has to take me to appointments since I can’t drive. I’m a sight to see, women stoned out of her mind trying to maneuver a cane while walking. I had my first appointment with new Cardiologist yesterday, he has Lyme Disease experience with a specialty in blood flow. He is one of three doctor’s who will manage my Lyme journey. The RN performed an EKG, then his Assistant reviewed my medical history, asking what seemed like 1000 questions. The doctor is next, we talk about how Lyme can effect blood flow in the heart then out the entire body. Then general exam with discussion on test he has ordered. I left wearing a Holter Monitor which comes off at 2:45 PM today. I push a button on a small device, put up to my chest anytime I feel dizzy, cardiac pain, trouble breathing, ect, ect. I leave with the schedule of test for next week which take 3 1/2 hours, when to pick up medicine for test and the great news to show up fasting. A couple of test I’ve done multiple times due to my heart condition. The Tilt Test is what it sounds like, the table moves to a head down position for 30 minutes. The test is more frightening than giving myself a shot. They may see a panic attack instead, that’s a lot of time without control and no way to escape.

Echo Cardiogram

Q Sweat Test-Study of Sudomotor response assisting in diagnosis of small fiber neuropathy’s

Tilt Table with-Trans Cranial Doppler monitors mean blood flow velocity

Tilt Table with ANSAR-Determines how well Autonomic Nervous System is functioning

Tilt Table with BIOZ-Determines the hearts ability to deliver blood to the body

Tilt Table with QST-Assesses sensory neuropathy’s

Metabolic Stress Test

Lipid Profile

I have blood work from last week to complete, 20 plus vials gets me as excited as the stool sample that requires freezing! I’m now 1 hour 45 minutes before the monitor comes off. Then time for a shot and hand full of pills. Are we having fun yet?

My heart and soul goes out to those struggling with Lyme, it’s a long complicated journey. I know you’re strong enough to fight the virus in your body, though it may not feel like it today. I look to the survivors before me for support during my journey. Let’s all pray for each other, that’s what support is about.

Warrior

PS….Why is there a photo of my desk? I can’t stand a messy desk, I can’t work with the chaos.

Throw Back Thursday: Warrior Is Taking You On The Way Back Machine, Music selection By Army Of Angels

Last week I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease  adjusting to the new meds is kicking my but. Not to worry, my trusted CTC Sister Army of Angels jumped in to make this weeks selection. Big hugs for your help AoA. There would not be Throw Back Thursday this week without her help. I can’t wait to see what she picked. Sit back, take a little break to enjoy some tunes. Warrior

 

 

 

 

Have You Ever Given Yourself A Shot? I Gave Myself The First Of Many Today

 

 

 

Lyme Meds

This hurdle has been on my mind for days. I’m not afraid of needles, it’s the thought of drawing the med out of bottle then injecting into my stomach. I cleared the hurdle with room to spare. I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease last week, it’s been a whirlwind of new meds, supplements and schedules. I will post more after I adjust to the meds, right now I’m so out of it. I also plan to document the long journey. If one person avoids this crippling disease, every post and struggle is worth it. For all of you who pray, please pray for me. I’m in extreme pain and the journey is long. Thank you.

Warrior

Memories of Childhood Abuse Flood To The Surface Discussing Domestic Violence

Two of my CTC Sister’s are going through a very rough time with their ex’s. Memories flood in of my childhood as a pawn for my mother. I thought I had a good understanding of Domestic Violence, I was wrong. My stepfather beat my mother almost daily, constant verbal abuse which would cause her emotional abuse. What really hit home is how the abuse of a parent trickles down to the kids. I thought the memories of my mother were in the past. I never looked at myself as living in a house with Domestic Violence. I’m blinded with hatred towards my mother for abusing me. These emotions come to the surface yet there is no sympathy for her. The realization my CTC Sister’s are going through the same difficulties is blinding. I was the pawn, not the mother watching her children in agony with no recourse. I have felt anger and cried so many tears for my Sister’s. I see their pain and remember what it was like for me as a child. I’ve gone from crying to full caregiver mode, wanting to help. I’m so emotionally involved wanting to help anyway possible. As you can see from a conversation with one of my Sisters, I’ve gone overboard. Looking at what they are facing with the ex, I saw for the first time I was a pawn in my mother’s game. I lived in a home with Domestic Violence. Another form of abuse inflicted on me by my mother. The blessing is I am capable of feeling deep emotions for my Sister’s. I don’t feel pain for me, all of my thoughts are for them and their kids. I’ve either resolved the abuse at the hands of my mother or can no longer look at the pain. Only God knows. I’ve known people with an abusive past , they were cold, hardened, unable to feel any emotion. I am so happy that is not me. I am not just a survivor I’m thriving. I would love to hear your thought’s.

ME:

Keep an open dialog going with the kids, keep a journal of the changes they show with dates. I know this is eating at you and rightly so. He has already crossed the line of what’s appropriate. Why would XXXX want to sleep in her clothes suddenly? It does raise flags.Will he take another step. I pray not. Try to set specific rules on calling times while their gone and the consequences if they do not call, answer your call or text. You could even outline a small agenda for the kids, that way you don’t have to listen or be yelled at by the dad. Did you find out why XXXX didn’t want his grandmother to know he lied? They are young and under a lot of stress, it’s never to early to teach kids their actions have consequences. We had rules on how to act from the time we were small kids. One idea is after they get back and chill, take each kid to do something fun. Ice cream in the park then relax feeding ducks, you know how to ask questions without asking questions. Do this with both kids and see what comes out of their mouth when off guard down. If the dad has polluted their mind, using as pawns, think about your parents or one parent do the same, see what happens. The dad is a selfish monster. I have no doubt you will have to take him back to court someday. Think about a child counselor for each at a later date. If you can find a decent ass lawyer, having statements from a Therapist will throw his game off. I believe the only way he will stop abusing you and the kids is for him to see you’ve grown some balls. Stay ahead of him and strike like a python. You might look at what books are available that captures his personality disorder, custody, what to look for and possible suggestions on what or how to approach it. Maybe hide some notes with nice sayings in their clothes, little reminders that you love them. Maybe a small trinket that could keep them busy, making sure kids bring it home to show you what they’ve learned. That may discourage dad from keeping all the toys. As you can tell I’m thinking of everything I can for you and the kids. My life dream would come true if a child never had to endure abuse. It fuck’s up your life, it took a miracle for me to stay sane. I’m thinking of you and wished I could help. The what if’s bring up memories I would not wish on anyone. I’ll look for some resources this week. I’m thinking about you, let me know how I can help.

XX:

…you hit the nail on the head about the “what ifs?” I think that being an older parent, I’ve seen and experienced more to learn from than when I was in my 20′s raising the older two. We’ve done some phone call role-playing, so this visit we’ll try again for a short, sweet conversation while they’re with the dad. The summer has provided the dad with way more contact with me than I wanted to deal with. I so share your dream that children not have to silently endure any abuse! It sickens me to see, knowing what he is capable of…it has been a tough summer for all, interspersed with some rock in’ fun times.

ME:

I rarely feel the warmth of tears. I’ve cried many times the past two weeks in pain for you & XX. I cried this morning and tried to analyze my emotions. My own abuse, being a pawn, came to the surface as anger. Lots of anger. I’m sure being older has been a blessing dealing with this. I hope none of my comments have not upset you, everything said is out of love and concern. :)
I’m pushing down my emotions so I can get five lbs. of paperwork done for tomorrow.

Warrior

100 days in captivity

Originally posted on I AM BLAQ:

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Yesterday marked the 100th day in captivity for the school girls abducted from Chibok, Borno State, Nigeria. I can’t believe it’s been that long. We tend to forget or lose track of these things especially when there are more buffeting and immediate problems.

Three days ago, there was a total of 4 bombings in the country – two in Kaduna, one each in Borno and Yobe I think, killing almost a hundred people and injuring scores others. Two days ago there was another in Kano state. There was probably another somewhere yesterday. I didn’t comb through the news.

There hasn’t been one incident free week in Nigeria since the abduction of these girls. But that does not excuse relegating these girls to the background.

The President had a closed door meeting with the abducted girls’ parents. I do not know the outcome. A while back I heard all the girls…

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Danny Nickerson, the Boy with an Inoperable Brain Tumor, Receives THOUSANDS of Birthday cards

Originally posted on Kindness Blog:

Further to the 5-year-old with Terminal Cancer Just Wants Some Mail. Let’s Overflow his P.O. box… post from a few days ago, we are absolutely delighted to see that young Danny Nickerson has received so many cards from well-wishers all over the world.

Daniel Nickerson

Facebook
Photos from Danny’s Warriors’s post – Danny’s Warriors | Facebook

All Danny of Foxboro, Mass., wanted for his sixth birthday, this Friday, was cards. So far, the little boy with an inoperable brain tumor has received thousands upon thousands.

Daniel Nickerson

The family has been tracking the influx of packages on its Facebook page Danny’s Warriors.

Daniel Nickerson

“Todays total rough count was a little over 8,500 cards and 900 packages!!! We filled the uhaul completely up! And then filled 3 cars too!” the family posted on Facebook this week.

“We are in awe of all of this, we are speechless and dont have enough words to explain how…

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Brain Fart Friday: Warrior Eats Crow With Aerosmith & Rolling Stones

You know you’re getting old when you have no clue what day it is. We have Throwback Thursday!

I can’t give you Satisfaction by the Stones, think you’ll like my choice. Windows is foreign after all these years. You’re worth every word I said while working on post. I was born with a Rock Star in my head, better than marbles. I fell in love with Train Kept a Rollin’ at 12 years old. I would lay on the couch watching The Midnight Special letting the music soak in. Music is a trusted friend who always knows how to please. The Stones are older than dirt, Mick still dances badly and Keith has zero brain cells left. I saw The Rolling Stones at Wembley Stadium in 1990. It was a trip, 70,000 people single file, no assigned seats and calming walked in. As they started playing this song I was making my way to front stage. The crowd parted, passing me a joint like the old days. A great memory for the concert memory bank. I would love to hear your favorite concert memories. Watching the video brings back good memories with my friend Jackie. Both bands have music that stand the test of time. Now kick back, close your eye’s and remember the first time you heard the songs. 

Warrior